I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
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