I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it was like eating out sand paper
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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