I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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