I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
