That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
