I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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