today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize