I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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