Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
