I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
