fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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