Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize