Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
