you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
