i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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