Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize