we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
