She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
