Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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