Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
