so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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