yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
