don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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