you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Randomize
