Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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