There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
