these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
do herpes really smell.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
