Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
