She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
