He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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