so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
whose parrot is this?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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