i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
