Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
