oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize