She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
