WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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