clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
