So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
