Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think i peed on brittanys purse
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
