Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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