like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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