dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
