He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
