so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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