You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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