Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize