Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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