I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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