The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
