And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
