Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
