I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
