i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
