If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
