out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
