You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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