I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
