what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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