Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
