If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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