White coat. Heels.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
