If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
