yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
