goodnight i made you a song goodbye
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
