ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
