I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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