Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
