PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
