i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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