You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
