Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
