Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
