The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
