Soap is not a condiment
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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