Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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